Amsterdam is exactly what you think it is.

There is no sugar coating what Amsterdam has to offer. After the Van Gogh, Rembrandt, and Anne Frank museum there's nothing left really but smoking pot. LOTS OF POT!

The movies, the way everyone depicts it. It is completely accurate. 

It's a stoner's paradise. 

The cafés aren't even really for coffee and a biscuit... They're for buying reefa. 

How can I put this lightly... There is really nothing else to do here.  

It now makes sense why their music artists and producers are so talented. They get high and make unrealistic things realistic. 

I bet Martin Garrix got super stoned and was like I bet I can make a song that has a big kick and a wooden block and become famous lolol. 

Or Nicky Romero ate shrooms one day and watched V for Vandetta, and vowed to start a movement for musical freedom. 

I don't know man but hey if you like smoking week this is the place for you. Me on the other hand am not, and didn't really catch the thrill of what is "Amsterdam." 

What the hell is a Sziget?

Imagine camping for 7 days at a festival that's more or less a Mini Woodstock. Now take that and put it on an island, give it 6+ stages, add in countless actives to do ranging from a rubix cube to FIFA on ps4, sprinkle on top a ton of different ethnic foods, and throw a dash of people from about 30 different countries, stir in a circus, and to spice it up withe roller coaster rides. Last but not least add music from all genres! That my friends is a Sziget!

Day1

I legit went to this festival by myself and was forced to make friends. That in my opinion is the best way to make friends because you have to showcase yourself in mere minutes and hope they accept you. 

I found a campsite next to "the beach" with 10 French guys and I walked up and said "I'm Dexter from NYC, can I hang with you all?" They reply "Oui Oui," I bust out a 2 bottles of alcohol and it was at that moment I became their brother and best friend. 

The plan was to go see Blink 182 and I won't lie, blink was my favorite set! Have you ever been in a 10,000+ person mosh pit? Even girls got in on the action! After blink there really wasn't much going on so I head to "the beach"

"The Beach"

It was the hotspot on the island, all top deep house DJs with one hell of a set up and easy access to anything you needed. It was great and my tent was walking distance from it. 

This particular night dark wing duck was the best wingman anyone could ask for. If you've read my previous stories you'll understand why I say: Finally! We meet 2 girls from God knows where and dance with them. I show them the fancy footwork and it gets hot, really hot! 

Quick pause

I'm not gonna lie but the pick line "hi I'm Dexter from NYC" is single handly the greatest pickup line in the history of pick up lines... Well In Europe anyway hahaha

Anyways, it's hot!

So I mention to DWD and our friends let's all go skinny dip in the Danube. 

Bucket list item: CHECK!

We all drop down to our birthday suits and jump in to this freezing water!  

SHRINKAGE!!! Hahaha

Haha you know how guys kinda go through that thing when they're in a cold environment? Ha well yeah. 

Anyway the cops see us and i run! Ass naked, and all I could think about was: what would mom and pops think if I end up on the news naked arrested for illegally swimming in the river? Scheiße!

I def hit 9.2 100m speed getting out of there! I was able to grab my pants, lost my undies, grabbed my beater and sprinted into the darkness. 

I guess you can say that it pays to be black sometimes when running from the cops.... AHHH! Who am I kiddin'? I'm lucky I didn't catch a Rodney King beating hahahah.... Too soon?

Either way I made it to my tent safely, completely left everyone but I didn't care, dont be the slowest buffalo they always get eaten. 

Day 2

DWD comes to my tent and says "you're fast!" I reply "all black people have a natural talent of running from the cops!" Hahaha

He proceeds to give me details after getting caught, unfortunately I will not write them but if you want to know them ask me in person for the full details about the skinny dip story.

Anyways

Today was the day that I proved my worth to the Frenchmen and met my new Dutch family :). 

Now in order to prove your worth to the frenchmen you must sacrifice your liver to the gods. It's a very big thing to turn down a drink that is given to you. Mind you we start drinking at 9am. The day was a blurr until DWD reminded me that I came to see DEADMAU5!

Gotta be a high schooler and scream really quick: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Bucket list item #2: CHECK!

So deadmau5... 

SMH

It was not his best work, but none the less I got to see him and I danced like a savage! 

After seeing Joel aka DeadMau5 we really didn't have much else planned so we go where we always go. To "the beach" lol

Enter the prettiest jellybean in the bunch, the brightest crayon in the box, the sweetest... You get the picture haha. 

Juliet 

She was awesome in every aspect. And I don't typically let someone get so close to me but we are drawn to each other like tiny magnets and we got along like we've know each other for years. Truly a great friend for years to come. 

Warning!!!

Be careful with the times you consume energy products. I didn't realize but I consumed one at 3am in the morning... Scheiße, there goes my sleep! But it lead to an interesting and hilarious end to my Day 2. 

I get back to camp to find 2 Frenchmen laying on an air mattress under an air mattress with two more Frenchmen on top haha. I figured aww what the hell so I jumped on top of them all. 

15 mins of laughter pass when all of a sudden this guy approaches us holding another guys hand and asks us to use our tent for you know what... Hahaha. The French guys look at each other and smile then point to a random and say "use that one" hahahaha. 

The guy unzips the tent and finds girls inside and they scream "what's going on" the guy jumps back and yells "wtf" 

He returns to my friends upset and ready to fight because we lead him to a tent that wasn't empty. And my guys jumped up ready to fight too because he was ready to fight. 

But let's rewind!

This dude was ready to fight us because we didn't allow him to use our tent to have sex with another guy....

Let that sink in hahahahaha!

I couldn't take it anymore so I head over to my Dutch friends tent and share the story. As if pre planned  a guy comes up to us and asks for a beer, so of course we oblige and he then proceeds to bathe in this beer. 

LITERALLY!

He rinsed, then lathered up, washed his hair with herbal essence and then rinsed. He even brushed his teeth. All with one 24oz aka 0,5 L can of beer, it was actually kinda impressive. Then he walked away like nothing happened. 

The night wasn't over yet!

Another guy joins our group on a trip, and proceeds to tell us about space and time. It was actually kinda interesting to be honest, and right after that I meet one of my best friends from Sziget, Seabass! 

Seabass is basically DeSean in a white body that can speak Dutch haha. Literally he is my little brother and we were two peas in a pod after that. 

Finally day 2 ended

Day 3

It legit rained all day so I slept all day and when the rain stopped I came out ready to party. 

It was probably like 6pm when I started partying and I head to the Palinka place that the French guys always go. Now for those of you that have no idea what Palinka is, I will just tell you when you go to Hungary be sure to have a shot of the shit. 

Anyways

I find the guys and we all head to the Coliseum to dance, and I run into Juliet once again! 

This was crazy because meeting someone twice at a festival without contacting them is weird, but hey this is Sziget!

I end up joining her and her friend to go see Macklemore and I lose them in an instant hahaha. Just my luck! Either way I figured I might as well enjoy the rest of my night and I head back to the fellas. 

When I get back I started to do my little jig and it caught the interest of a Hungarian bombshell. Gorgeous was an understatement, so I hit her with the most incredible pick up line ever!

"Hi, I'm Dexter from New York, what's your name?"

She smiled a big cheese and said "your name is Dexter? Like the killer?", I put my head down and began to walk away sarcastically and she grabbed my arm and said "wait, I love that show", I reply "everyone does, but I'm still not a killer," and we start to laugh. 

I should have suspected something the way she grabbed my arm haha. Almost a tad too forceful but I was drunk and we were dancing and the fellas were in admiration of this girl I was dancing with. 

Then the demon comes out!

She looks at me and says "I've never kissed an American boy before," I look around and say "well how can I be of service?" And she proceeds to grab me and make out like a person that was French kissing for the first time... 

Yeah ima let you visualize that...

Anyways I thought I'd just survived an attack from Lassie and that's when she does her "finish him" move and jumps onto me and begins to bite my lips, neck, and chest, right there on the dance floor.  

What the shit?

I was mad as hell but the inner man was like "well this is new." Hahaha 

I pry her vampire ass off me, and say, "I don't care that you just practically took what you want from me, but next time... just ask," I laugh and run away from the girl and walk to my camp a tad bit in disbelief of what just happened. But too drunk to care...

Time to go to "the beach!"

To my surprise it was empty because everything was wet. I figured: Oh well, so I pull up a seat, smoke a cigarette, and watch the moonlight. Another day completed. 

Day 4

This day was a bit of a bust and I didn't really do much. I was suppose to meet up with M&Ms but that fell through like coins placed on a bridge of wet cheap toilet paper. 

It gave me time to reflect and I learned something new about myself. Traveling alone will take you to places where you have no choice but to trust a random person. It's more effective to give 100% trust right off the bat and let the person hang themselves with the slack. When you say it's hard for me to trust someone or a person has to earn your trust you're doing it wrong. This pushes you into a hole where you only trust yourself and that's not good. Give trust and don't be afraid for someone to let you down, it will make you stronger in the long run. 

Life lesson done!

Day 5

At this point I could literally feel my body breaking down.... But I think to myself: I'm a warrior! I take a multi-vitamin, swallow my pride, chug a red bull and shotgun a 24!

WOOOOOO! I'm ready!

The day was spent with my new Dutch family and honestly I could not ask for better. They took care of me like I was one of their own, they spread peace, love, unity, and respect. We head to main stage and catch some awesome "sway" music and take some selfies because... WHY NOT? Haha

Then finally I meet up with M&Ms! 

Y'all M&Ms is literally like the candy, once you get a taste you can't get enough. So cool! She introduces me to her friends Mr. and Mrs. Hurricane and we go and have a blast!

If you have never heard of "crystal fighters" I recommend that you get to know them now before they blow up! Amazing band, but the venue was so packed that I couldn't dance and that irked me. Either way I thoroughly enjoyed the music. 

THEN IT GOT COLD! 

It was like 11°/40° with a ridiculous wind chill. And I needed to change up the gear. So I head to my tent to put on some clothes and I completely lose my friends in the process...

Scheiße!!!!

Lucky for me I find the Frenchmen right were I left them... The Palinka tent getting click wasted and I join them and get wasted too. I think that tent definitely made $5000 from the Frenchmen for sure haha. 

Either way

I leave after a couple drinks and head to "the beach" where I meet a Brazilian, Italian, and two Icelandic guys. Random 

Final Day... Unfortunately, If you wanna know the story you gotta ask me ;) - Some shit isn't meat to be published on the internet... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

So if you see the sun come up does that mean the party continues?

Berlin was the FUNNIEST part of my entire trip. Let me just tell you, French people are pretty friggin' awesome. Especially the ones that know their English accent is shit and is exactly like the movies and comedians depict. If you meet a French person like this, you are in for a treat. 

DISCLAIMER: Because I don't want to run into problems I will use the names Cogsworth and Lumière, for those of you who figured it out, they're the Clock and candlestick from "Beauty and the Beast."

Day 1

I wake up in my hostel hurt and sleep deprived from the night before and since it's a "dorm" style hostel, I wake up to two new dudes. They are both from France and their English was actually really good it's just their pronunciation sucked! 

Enter Cogsworth and Lumière!

Cogsworth was pretty cool, he is about 5'8" with a simple cut, simple style, and brawny scruff.. a looker for the ladies just a tad too short. And Lumière is a about the same but taller about 6'2" and the exact hair cut that Brad Pitt had in the movie fight club. 

They wake up look at me, I look at then and I say, "breakfast?" they say, "beer? And it was a match made in heaven. 

We started drinking at 9am in the mofo morning. The best was they were on the same schedule as me too, no tourism, just have fun and be a German. 

We walk for about an hour before we decide to just bar hop it and then Lumière's accent took over!

He orders a drink that's sweet and super fancy

*french accent*

"I am a man, how will I enjoy this?"

#chugsdrink

"I am a man, so I drink it!"

After that bar we hop to a beachesque type of bar and order more drinks. Lumière and Cogsworth accidentally get a 2% beer and are pissed but you know the rule "thou shalt finish ones drink before the bar hop continues," so we sit and drink. 

Out of nowhere a bee comes and wants to hang out with the crew. It hung with us for a solid 20 mins as we sat there drinking. We even filled a bottle cap with the nectar from the gods And the bee drank it!

The Bee aka Sophie must have been stressed. Working all day gathering pollen, making honey, being swatted at by everyone. #toughlife

I wasn't paying attention and slam my glass onto the table right on top of Sophie! 

NOOOOOOO! 

Lumière sees this and immediately says: 

*french accent*

"stupid American... Have no respect for nature"

And starts laughing

I felt so bad so let's have a moment of silence for the hardworking Sophie. Ima pour some liquor out for my fallen homie. 

The group had one purpose and that was to get drunk and you know what? I didn't mind it!  

After our 8th bar Allie Calhoun (she is a character from previous stories) sends me a message to meet up for drinks and food at a restaurant where I tried 1,000 year old eggs. 

We get drinks at a place called "monkey bar" which is a famous sky bar and I recommend it to all travelers. 

After 4 whiskeys my coherentness is shot and I call it a night, great first night in Berlin. 

Day 2

I wake up in pure pain!

Motor skills weak, eyes burning, little person tap dancing on my forehead, and the worst taste in my mouth...

Never mix wine, beer, and whiskey. 

I somehow get out of bed at 9am and go to the bathroom for the morning routine. 

Everyman shares the same morning routine... The three S's: Shower, shit, shave. It's a common practice by most if not all men. 

Anyways

This particular morning you can add a V to my routine. Once I'm in the shower and start the lathering I feel that the trigger has been pulled and I jump out of the tub with cat like reflexes and aim with extreme precision and proceed to projectile vomit directly into the toilet. 

Now here's the sucky part..

I was all soapy, and the floor was smooth tile... I slip and I eat it!

Like I was hungry!

I gather myself complete the morning routine bruises and all and once I get back in the room the Frenchmen say "Beer" and we begin to drink again. 

The day consisted of drinking, rain, thrifting, and recruiting for the night. 

This particular night me and Cogsworth were on the sauce and recruited a group of 6 girls to go to the club called "Weekend" another skybar/club. Now if you don't know anything about clubbing in Berlin, always have a higher ratio of girls to guys it's easier to get in. 

INSERT DEEP HOUSE!

We literally dance for 7 hours and leave the club at 7am. 

Lumière tired and wasted looks at me and says:

*french accent*

"You are the best American ever!"

I'd say Berlin was a success and an amazing city. I didn't do it like a tourist, I did it like a native with a NYC flare. Yeah I spent a bunch of time having drinks with two of the funniest Frenchmen ever. But I leave you with this quote:

"Some of the best times had are with good drinks, good people, and good conversation"

Life will always be about the story so make sure yours is the best one yet. 

Dex

PS the best photo I took of Berlin 

The show must go on!

You can thank my parental units for donating to the united DJ eurotrip fund. The journey continues! Love those guys!

DISCLAIMER: Because I don't want to run into problems I will use the name Allie Calhoun, for the person I hung out with in Mainz

Let me start with an apology for being MIA. The last couple weeks have been tapered back off of the "full steam ahead" drinking and I have been enjoying the time spent A LOT more but I'm back with renewed vigor. #MyB :/

In my "thought to be," last days in Germany

I hung out with a German frau named Allie, as well as her friends. One thing for sure is she is the definition of fantastic. We had the craziest time in Mainz . We went to cool clubs, had an amazing German dinner, danced the night away and have great stories that start with weinschorle. I honestly don't think I will meet a friend as cool as her. I wish her all the best for the future and hope we cross paths for a third time. 

Yeah I said third!

Man sieht sich zweimal im Leben, ain't got shit on ones chosen path haha. 

But Man... This trip has taught me you never know who you're going to meet, so be as open as possible!

As for the last two cities, I will write an entry called "The Lost Stories of ExpeditionDex" hmmmm...

Anyways

THE BREAK IS OVER!

Coming up next on this expedition is Sziget festival, Amsterdam, Berlin, and Brussels! (Not in that order)

Sziget Festival...

When's the last time you partied for 7 straight days for a music festival? 

EXACTLY!!!

I'm back on the sauce, this time spice it up with some Cheyenne pepper! Not to mention I finally get to see Deadmau5!

Let me pause and burst into excitement!

I friggin' get to see DEADMAU5!!!! 

Bucket list item CHECK!!!

Amsterdam will be... #interesting

And I hope to God I finally see something #Majestic in Brussels. 

I know I've always said 25 was the best year of my life, I think this year will be the craziest of my life. 

Until next entry my friends

"Life's about the story, make sure yours is the most interesting one!"

Dex

The End of ExpeditionDex Part 1

This trip has taught me all types of things but most importantly that friendships last a lifetime. I'm lucky to have gone to Manhattan College and ran for a D1 program and better yet been introduced to so many people from so many countries. This trip would not have been so easy had I not known so many people and I thank them all for the hospitality and for showing me around.

With that said...

Getting a chance to hang with Andreas(GERMANY), Zoran(SERBIA), Milan(SERBIA), Marina(SERBIA), Tobias(SWEDEN), and Malin(SWEDEN) was epic! Meeting all of the characters of my story was a great experience too. I'll never forget my first trip to Europe, so many stories can be told and so many laughs have been had.

I hope I've inspired you all to get off your ass and just hop on a plane to Europe and better yet do it the way I did it.

Tips to future travelers:

- Pack super light and do laundry a lot
- If you don't use it in your everyday life at home, you wont use it in Europe
- Be BRAVE don't be afraid of getting lost
- Practice doing things without the use of your phone
- Wear short spandex not underwear to avoid chafing
- Take pictures of moments no just of buildings and the area... most cities look pretty much the same
- Sign up for CouchSurfing and use that as a resource to help you meet cool people and experience the country's offerings
- LEARN the currency exchange rates for where you're going!
- Be prepared to become a smoker for a little bit OR inhale second hand smoke
- DRINK, DRANK, DRUNK, REPEAT
- ALWAYS trust your gut!
- Fit in! Don't stand out
- Do your best to not be a tourist but a local, the experience is better.

Hopefully you take my tips to heart and use them if you plan to take an expedition yourself.

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE!!!

What would ExpeditionDex be with out the final story...?

Preface:

Things happen for a reason! I am a believer in that quote. Whoever said it must have had a hotline to God himself to confirm some of the things happening in their life haha. You don't just run into a person without some sort of reason behind it. Maybe that person was feeling down that day and needed a new friend to talk to. Maybe that person had an idea but didn't quite have the brain capacity to figure out the wrench in the problem and talking to you helped solve it. Hell maybe it was just for that second in time to connect ones aura and experience another. OR what if that person was the final missing piece of the puzzle that completes your life...  We don't know, and you know what? I'm a dreamer and sometimes dreams come true

Thanks for reading about my excursions y'all I'll be home Sunday August 3rd with gifts and things for my peoples.

Dex

Budapest should change it's name to, "how about that view"

DISCLAIMER: Because I don't want to run into problems I will use the name Rey of Sunshine, for the person that hosted me. 

Budapest, Hungary is an absolutely beautiful city. It definitely delivered my best photo yet and also provided a time to reflect, talk, and think. I've said a million times I'm not a tourist on this trip, and that I want to be a local and eat native foods, hang with the locals, and this stop was just that. #WhenInBuda

Story:

I'm really enjoying meeting new people, the fact that you have to showcase yourself to earn trust and friendship is fun. Budapest delivered one of the greatest people I've ever met,  Rey of Sunshine. I call her this because no matter what she can brighten your day. 

The first day I spent in Buda I walked like a savage though lol. I've really come to appreciate our train system back home in NYC. Literally things are only steps away from stops haha. As it is I'm lazy too... bad combination. Rey of Sunshine is ready for anything though, she took me over the bridge and I saw the most breathtaking view of my life. 

From what I've been told the way the city was built was greatly influenced by the sunset and the sunrise. So you see magnificent views to start and end your day.

Beer was about $1 and of course I had my share of the rations haha. It was good beer too and although public drinking is forbidden there's no greater time spent than in the shade looking at the water with a brew. Of course I experienced the night life with Rey's friends, and it was Crazy. 

Apparently when you're out you drink rosé wine spritzers. It gets you drunk pretty quickly and it is extremely cheap. Also be sure to have a shot of the national alcohol. 

WARNING! It burns, not horrible but it will sober you up some haha. 

If you go, head over to the national garden and theatre too. I'd say it was the coolest thing I saw. Imagine if the White House were built to look like it was on a boat... EXACTLY. 

Rey of Sunshine did say one thing that that reminded me of what my father always says to me. "Don't forget to stop and smell the flowers." In other words appreciate what's going on now, don't worry about things of past, and remember you can't control the future, only influence it. 

Life's about the story, make sure yours is the most interesting.

Dex

If a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine, what helps getting rid ofhangovers?

DISCLAIMER: Because I don't want to run into problems I will use the names Maya Angelou, for the person I met, for Maya's black lady friend Vera Wang (works so well) the germ-talian guy Fabio, and Maya's sister Rihanna.  

A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, in the most delightful way. We all know that song by heart, and I've never had nasty ass medicine so I never tried it. Come to think of it how did I not die from over consuming grape dimeatapp? That shit was delicious! 

Anyways

Vienna started off on a sour note. I got there without a plan, a heavy ass backpack, and too much money spent on a cab. I had no idea what to expect, I didn't even get a chance to explore the first day. Simona my receptionist became my one and only friend at the time and she told me where to grab a bite. I ended up finding one of the best cocktail bars in Vienna and had an old fashioned that was made perfectly... I guess you could say it was sign for things to come. 

The story:

I woke up pissed, I needed a friend and I needed one now! So I hit up couchsurfing and asked a couple people to hang. For those of you that don't know couchsurfing is a way to meet people in the world that can give you a tour of their city and maybe even crash on their couch. I figured it would take a while so #expeditiondex went on an expedition! Ha

I walked straight into the heart of the beast known as Vienna and took a picture. BLAM!

Absolutely gorgeous shot and right after I get a ping from couchsurfing. Maya sent me a message that yeah we could hang! I was stoked finally somebody throws me a bone haha. 

Now let me put Maya into perspective. Maya is Married, Caucasian, about 5'9", Gisele doppelgänger, freckles, extremely smart, and so well cultured that if you were to look up the word "culture," her picture would be right next to the word in the dictionary lol. I didn't know what to expect and neither did she but we clicked like we'd known each other for years! 

Convo begins at 6:45pm 

We head to a boat restaurant and I have a beer and she has an alcohol free beverage. 

Convo time 7:13pm

I tell her about my trip and what's going on in my life. She confesses that she had a back up plan in the event that I was weird haha. 

Convo time 8:33pm

I have another beer and she has another alcohol free beverage. Her mom calls and after the call she tells me all about her family, and her husband. I tell her my uncle's best joke ever. 

Convo time 9:02pm

She asks if I'd like to meet her sister and some of her people, and of course I agree, this conversation was just too good. We figured we should eat and head to fish restaurant. 

It's about 10pm we are on the train and guess what we are still talking haha. 

Convo time 10:40pm

We arrive at the fish place and we get this awesome platter of different sea creatures and various veggies, and a bottle of vino #invinoveritas 

Convo time 11:18pm 

She tells me why she can't have alcohol. Apparently her body doesn't break it down properly so a sip gives her a hangover.

I say a silent prayer and I thank God that I don't have that. Hahaha

Convo time 11:45pm

I tell her about my parents, childhood, and my siblings. I kinda monopolized the outdoor convo haha. #layeditonTHICK

12am the restaurant closes the outdoor seating, but we decide to go inside to keep the convo going. 

Convo time 12:27am

We talk about religion and our beliefs and about crazy stuff. The convo veers to Trublood and then we talk about the craziness that is that show haha. 

The Convo is still going strong at 1:30am and that's when we grab the bottle of vino, cork it, and head out to meet the crew. 

We meet up with Vera Wang and Fabio at the train station and they were some awesome people. Apparently Wu-Tang was in town and we head to the after party but it looked "suspect" so Maya and Vera go inside to check it out and Fabio and I stay outside and polish of the vino. We all decide to split and head to a spot that Vera knew of so we walk and talk 

Convo time 2:07am

Maya tells me about finally trying to get her license. I tell her I've had mine since I was 17 lol 😂

We get to the next place and it wasn't half bad but I have on flops so my dancing was limited to a 2-step lol. Finally, I meet Rihanna and I kid you not, Maya and her sister look NOTHING alike lol. If I didn't know they were related I'd have said they were friends. Literally, night and day... Just like my friends Paige and Alex. 

We spend another hour at the venue then I remember that I have a train to catch in the morn and it's 4am. So I give hugs all around and say farewell and hop in a cab. 

As I'm riding in the cab it dawns on me...

I just spent 10 hours of my life TALKING! Lips drying up type conversation. At one point I think I had diarrhea of the mouth the way words and sentences were coming out with no effort haha. Not to mention it was good banter, witty and full of knowledge and fun facts. 

WHOA!

As I've been told the best times spent are with good people, good conversation, and good drinks. It's crazy, but Vienna is my favorite part of this trip so far, and imagine I thought it was gonna suck.

So you're telling me a beer is $1.50 after the exchange rate?

Prologue: I gotta get this off of my chest: "I'm one of the greatest wing men in the history of wingmen!" But the moment I let my new friend fly solo he crashed the damn plane into the side of Everest. What the shit? If a girl is intentionally throwing you 100% hittable pitches why the hell aren't you swinging? Anyway here's my story for Prague, Czech Republic. 

DISCLAIMER: Because I don't want to run into problems I will use the names Eric Northman and Patty Mayonaise for the people I met and stayed with in Prague.

Chapter 1: Black people must be rare here...

The trip here was pretty long and yeah I got lost but getting lost also took me to a part of Prague that I don't think many black people have ever ventured. I felt like a white woman on a National Geographic show that went to an African village where little black children never seen a white person before. Everyone stared at me, I thought I had some shit on my face haha. God as my witness, one guy pulled out a camera very secretively and took a picture. He tried to aim the camera so it looked like he wasn't taking my picture but com'on man... Dude even tried to hide it when I looked up at him haha. 

Either way I made it to my destination and my host Patty Mayonaise is as cool as the other side of the pillow. She is super smart and working on her PhD, can play the piano, loves to live, learn, and laugh, the modern day super girl. I didn't get a chance to cook her a meal, one of her prerequisites for staying at her home but I took her out for dinner and she shared an amazing story of a 92 year old woman that says don't ever get married lolol. Hopefully we cross paths again in the future. :)

Chapter 2: Eric Northman, the other surfer

Patty Mayonaise already had a surfer in her flat, Eric Northman, and he was an interesting guy. Let me tell you about my boy Eric Northman. He's 6' 3",  from Sweden,  has a masters degree, loves to party, and LOVES WOMEN :)! He doesn't drink beer but loves a good scotch and just recently had a venture to Brazil that made him fall in love with JUNK IN THE TRUNK haha. Now Eric is a very persistent guy and goes by the slogan "you haven't succeeded until you've failed," and that's actually a pretty cool way to live and lemme tell you, homeboy has swagger over lvl 9000!!! #DBZ 

Let me preach:

The first day that I'm here he literally hits on everything that walks by. For every 3 misses he'd get a hit so roughly he was batting .250. I on the other hand have wisdom and play the quick/slow game, I will try to lean In get hit by a pitch, bunt, but swing every now and then because It's a more effective way to get on base IMO, you never know what I'm going to do. 

Anyways (INSERT POKEMON REFERENCES)

The most effective item when battling these wild women Pokemon is to use 5 alcoholic rare candies so you can level up your confidence. When your confidence trumps her beauty you attack her with FLIRT and it has a 55% chance to be SUPER EFFECTIVE. If she has good defense you may have to wear her down with attacks such as: BUY HER A DRINK and COMPLIMENTS. BUT Be careful, some of these wild women Pokemon have an attack called ROAR that scares trainers away. Hahaha

Back to the story...

We must have drank Prague dry of ciders and beer because at 10pm I was once again wasted. We meet up with the two Netherlands powerpuff girls and plan the night. (Please read last blog entry to know who the powerpuff girls are) 

Roxy was the name of the club and it was AWESOME! Deep house, progressive house, and electro. I was in heaven and danced my ass off BUT Eric was once again swinging away until he found her. We don't know her name but afterward called her "THE GRINDER." I saw the pitches she was throwing him, they were right down the center and 10mph so I took a step back and let him work, I even bought him a drink. THE GRINDER grinded the hell out of Eric on the dance floor, three solid hours of grindage. Even a little dance floor friskiness going on, hands all over each other in places they shouldn't go in public :-O haha... 

Let's pause for a second there. 

...Short break

Continued...

You ever just shake your head at somebody for messing up? I was angry at the world, and at Eric because he didn't FINISH #FellOverFirstHurdle. THE GRINDER even brought up where she was staying later and asked where he was staying and if he was in the same Hostel in casual convo and her friend didn't even stop the situation... I proclaim I'm a great wingman, yes, but Eric didn't swing and she just walked away. I didn't do a damn thing but sit there and Watch it crumple lol

All my friends know the true scale where 5 is average... She was a 9!!!!! She was a rare Pokemon MAN! An Articuno that allows you the chance to catch her. She was the one fish he caught for the day, not to mention there were no signs for catch and release and he throws it back in the water. So many analogies and metaphors are running through my head. 

Let that sink in for a second

Anyway, Eric dropped the ball, you could say epically but we will just go with, "he fumbled." I, had a great time though. Sometimes you gotta dance especially when you're surrounded by people whom were born in years that you remember vividly and when your mind is elsewhere. 

Finale

Don't sleep on Prague! It's a great city and VERY inexpensive (a beer is 39czech crowns convert that and you'll see) also whatever you go there for you'll get it! Hell, I gambled one night and made 350€ from a $10 bet. Shit happens! Enjoy the culture and honestly don't be a damn tourist be a "Czech." :)

Remember, Life will always be about the story so make sure yours is the best one yet. 

On the way to Vienna. 

Would a Chinese person go to Chinatown in China?

It's a 6-7 Hour trip from Mainz Franfurt to Prague and I was HUNGOVER! After all the drinking the night before for Germany's World Cup win, my liver was shot. I honestly did not drink a single drop on my travel day... 

:((( 

Damn right I had a sad, beer is so good in Europe haha

Traveling is not the as easy as it seems though... somehow I made it from Germany to Prague and didn't get TOO lost. I feel like I'm diving deeper and deeper into the language barrier abyss and it's getting harder to communicate haha.The cool thing is that the younger generation all speak english and I made a couple of friends along the way. 

DISCLAIMER: Because I don't want to run into problems I will use the names of the power puff girls haha. 

I met a blond Blossom (Age Unknown) from Netherlands who was super cool, she was the tallest of the group and the most outspoken, Buttercup (Age 24) the brunette of the group from Switzerland, she was very curious about Americans and their opinions :), and Bubbles (Age 18) also from Netherlands, I believe she was the youngest and just as out spoken as Blossom but really friendly. They were awesomesauce and hopefully we meet again :) as they say in german: Man sieht sich zweimal im Leben.

The Trip: 

We had a bus driver that swore he was the race car driver Jeff Gordon! I don't think there was a time during the drive to Prague that the bus drove under 120mph... Honestly at one point I think we were drifting. He definitely drafted a couple trucks too, I swear he should have stuck his head out the window after he passed the trucks and said, "SHAKE AND BAKE BITCHES!" It all makes sense now why there was a video before the trip that said buckle up...

Everything was on time too, and when I got to Prague I was a deer in headlights. I had no idea where to go or what to do. Petra my host gave great directions though so I had a general idea of what to do, but guess what? I stopped for food at BURGER KING! I had to, it smelled amazing just like back home, but the food was wack sauce lolol. 

There's no reason for me to get AMERICAN food in Europe... I wonder, would a Chinese person go to Chinatown in China?...

I did get lost in Prague though. You know how in NYC if you don't know the direction to go you can end up on the wrong train??? Well guess what I did? 

EXACTLY THAT

I had a gut feeling that something was wrong and I was right but by the time I checked what was happening I was 30 stops away and going in the wrong direction. 

-> Always Trust Your Gut <-

GOD as my witness I got directions from a guy that spoke 5 words of english, it was so awkward. Street was right about "hand language"it is universal haha.

At the end of the day I made it to Petra's amazing home, and have yet to have a beer in Prague.

So as I've said before [ENTERS BANE'S VOICE]

LET THE GAMES BEGIN.

What happens when Germany wins a World Cup

WHAT A NIGHT! I still can't believe that I'm in Germany. I've never seen or felt pride like that before. Every single German, happy and cheerful that Deutschland won the World Cup. 

The story: 

Tickets were sold out for the soccer stadium so we decided to hit up a viewing party nearby. It was packed! I'd say at least 500 ppl were there. all of us like sardines to watch the game, BUT The absolute best part it was 1€ for a drink! 

Yes you read that correctly!

One friggin euro! Any drink you want. I had to muster up strength because I needed to violate this deal.  

I don't even know how many beers I had but above 10 sounds right. Hold on lemme stand up...

AHHH yeah feels about right too haha

Talk about one hell of a game! Argentina definitely put up a great fight but in the end Germany prevailed. I can't put into words the crowds reaction after the goal... I swear if I'd gone outside after the goal the nation would have been screaming. Hi fives, people screaming, beer shower, it was beautiful! 

Once the ref blew the whistle to signal it was over the bartender broke out the special winning elixir... Jägermeister. I'm not a fan of the shit but it was free, and I had my share. 

Like Street always says, "never say no to a free meal"

They lined up shot glasses and poured shots for everyone. It was at that moment that I knew my hangover had begun.... Shots and beer and shots and beer. 

We ended up in the city and it was almost like the parade had already started. The streets were flooded with people, booze, and chanting. Of course I chanted with the drunken posse, even though I'm not German i had to... it was liquor induced. 

Deutschland!!!!!

I wish to God that the USA had won the World Cup. Seeing how everyone went crazy, I was soooo over joyed and sad at the same time. I would love to see a World Cup win, I want to feel pride like last night for my own country. Imagine every team winning a Super Bowl! 

One day :)

This game truly is beautiful.  

If drinking beer is wrong, then I don't wanna be right

I think my liver should protest drinking. It should pack up shop and stop processing liquid, literally I want my liver to say, "hell no we won't flow!"

If you haven't figured it out by now, I'm hungover once again, but not horrible. I can function but won't move fast. I can think but processing has taken damage. Today will be the first time on this euro trip that I don't have a drink... AHHH!!! Who am I kidding, I'm gonna get blasted for the World Cup final. 

Last night I went to a club in Germany, and it was AWESOME. You know it's going to be a good night when you pre-game with Bitburger and Jäger. I actually gagged  thinking about that... 

I was a dancing machine!

I bust out the robot, I melted the crowd with my butterfly aka tootsie-roll, and jigged my way into the hearts of hundreds last night... Or so I thought. 

Loved by many, hated by none jigged with all haha. 

Word from the wise:

If you cannot pronounce a girls name don't talk to her. It's an absolute waste of time. 

If you buy a girl a drink you also buy yourself a dance. 

if someone offers you a cig go have a smoke with them

Always start every convo with, "hi I'm from New York..." works every time

If you meet a chef ask them to cook for you

Always use movie quotes, you'll thank me later lol

Don't dance to the beat, you become a side show

Wingmen are useless over here

Finally, don't ever stop drinking. Even if it's water always look like you're drinking. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED! Lolol

The club was cool though, imagine bourbon street with house music lol. It was 3 levels and each level had 2 sections. Pretty cool layout, but those damn fog makers. I hope that shit isn't bad for you, I inhaled a lot unlike Bill Clinton... Too soon? 

At the end of the night, it was just like back home. Find the dude with the food that's horrible for you and feed the drunken machine haha. All in all it was a good night. 

AHHH it's the final today. 

Let's go Deutschland!!!!!!

When someone's father offers you a drink, say YES!

The day was a waste because I over slept but that didn't stop me from getting plastered with Peter (Andreas' Dad). He's is literally a copy of my dad but just white and German. The moment he saw me he asked "do you want a beer?" And what the hell do you think I said?

Hell yes!!!

He cracks open two Bavarian beers and breaks out some steins. Im slugging back this delicious nectar of the gods and he says, "what do you think?" And only one word needed to be said...

Delicious!!!

We get to talking and he shows me his first collection of alcohols. Of course the moment I see tanqueray I tell him I have to drink one for my dad back home, he pours me a sipper.

Prost! (Cheers)

And we drink

Before you know it Peter tells me I have to try the German Riesling and what do you think I said?

Hell yes!!!

He comes back two seconds later and we delete an entire bottle between the two of us, we reminisce some more and he asks me, "do you like whiskey?" 

YES!!!

He goes to his 2nd drinking collection grabs a bottle and pours me a sipper of a 10year single malt. It was absolutely delicious, Peter sees that I'm enjoying the whiskey and says I must now try the pears whiskey. After the pears whiskey he pours me a sipper of a flower infused whiskey. Then we try a Croatian whiskey.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

Somehow we get on the topic of cigars and he grabs me a Swiss cigar and we go outside for a smoke and chat. Jokes told, laughs had, we come back inside and have another beer.  

At this point I'm click wasted but I refuse to lose the "try this game." 

Ida (Andreas' mom) brings us some smoked Gouda cheese and we have another pears whiskey sipper. 

Peter had to have been impressed, I tried almost every drink he had and was still standing. I on the other hand was absolutely wasted and prayed for there to be nothing else to try. But Peter was ready to keep on going and so was I, I will not be a wuss in this man's house even if it kills me haha. Just as he reaches for the herb infused whiskey Ida says "Peter time for bed!" 

PRAISE THE LORD THANK YOU JESUS!!!

I have never been so happy in my entire life. I could feel myself slipping into the darkness and falling apart but I say "aww really? We were just getting started" and Peter looks up to his wife says "yes, I'm coming!" Looks back at me and says "we will continue tomorrow." I smile say "yes," but my liver screams, "HELL NO!" Hahaha

To be continued....

Broken AC's on a plane are worse than snakes.

Yeah buddy!!! I'm in Germany and the only word I know is Scheiße, Which means shit. To be practical and honest my flights were a bunch of Scheiße but I'm here safe and sound!!! I've definitely developed a new pet peeve to add to my list and you'll add it too because, there's nothing worse than "Helpless Uncomfortability." 

Let me give you an example: you're on a date with a girl you just met and while driving you feel a bubble, bubble in your gut. You've got to fart but you don't know if it's going to be: loud, silent, odorless, or deadly... The possibilities are endless but you're holding it in AKA "Helpless Uncomfortability."

Anyways

The weather man served up a BLAZING 90° Day in NYC and it came with a side of 100% humidity. Weather that was so sticky you developed swamp ass after two steps outside. To make matters worse the terminal had a "fever" and was running a little hot. It was like a friend's house whose parents kept the AC at 77° to save energy knowing damn well that it is not comfortable. 

To add to the trauma of the day, my flight was delayed so I had to take one of those propeller planes. I don't have anything against propeller planes but this one was sent from Satan himself. 

It was 90° outside and 900° inside the plane! I should have walked my happy ass to my connecting flight in Philadelphia because that would have been more pleasant. I was sweating like I stole something on a crispity hot day with no choice but to take it. Hence my new worse pet peeve Helpless Uncomfortability! 

The Captain knew it was hot too, he said over the speaker "this plane is unusually hot today and we're working on it." In lamen terms: sit your ass right there and enjoy the heat. He should have cackled afterward it would have been the icing on the cake... that bastard. 

Plane #2 was a S.O.B. I had an eight hour flight and no proper way to get some sleep. One good thing was I had a row to myself but that was useless, Like having a down blanket on a hot day... To add fuel to the fire my backpack for my "backpacking trip" is sitting in Philadelphia. 

I'm thirsty I need a BIER!

All in all it was smooth sailing and they served good food. I'm in Europe, (enter BANE) "Let the games begin!"

No One Looks Back on Life and Remembers a Good Night's Sleep

"Here's to the nights I wanna remember but am going to forget... MAZEL TOV!"

Completely the wrong word for "cheers" but I don't care it's my favorite when copious amounts of alcohol is involved. Not any old alcohol, it had to be Admiral Nelson... That really cheap knock off of Captain Morgans. Tastes like a rubbing alcohol with a hint of nutmeg and cinnamon. SCRUMPTIOUS!

All of the days leading up to, and including, the EPICNESS of which one would call EDC Las Vegas was alcholically driven by Admiral Nelson. Peace signs all over the place and you could literally feel the PLUR! One word: MAGICAL!

I gathered myself at about 4 a.m. sucked down some water and took the photo you see, it was hot, dry, loud, and bright but that couldn't stop us. Dance, Dance the night away until you see the sun and forget the day. Electric dance zombies, popping and locking to 128 BPMs, bobbing and swaying to Bass and drops, energy that came from the one meal we ate a day. We were surrounded by the masses of Ravers alike, reckless fun with no abandon.

The trip to Las Vegas is a blur. I remember popping vitamins like Skittles, 12 hours of sleep over five days, the Grand Canyon, and being hit on by a drunk gay guy whom I mushed and a night that was 15 Jame-o shots and a brown paper bag away from being perfect! Couldn't say this any better but:

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas... or does it?