What the hell is a Sziget?

Imagine camping for 7 days at a festival that's more or less a Mini Woodstock. Now take that and put it on an island, give it 6+ stages, add in countless actives to do ranging from a rubix cube to FIFA on ps4, sprinkle on top a ton of different ethnic foods, and throw a dash of people from about 30 different countries, stir in a circus, and to spice it up withe roller coaster rides. Last but not least add music from all genres! That my friends is a Sziget!

Day1

I legit went to this festival by myself and was forced to make friends. That in my opinion is the best way to make friends because you have to showcase yourself in mere minutes and hope they accept you. 

I found a campsite next to "the beach" with 10 French guys and I walked up and said "I'm Dexter from NYC, can I hang with you all?" They reply "Oui Oui," I bust out a 2 bottles of alcohol and it was at that moment I became their brother and best friend. 

The plan was to go see Blink 182 and I won't lie, blink was my favorite set! Have you ever been in a 10,000+ person mosh pit? Even girls got in on the action! After blink there really wasn't much going on so I head to "the beach"

"The Beach"

It was the hotspot on the island, all top deep house DJs with one hell of a set up and easy access to anything you needed. It was great and my tent was walking distance from it. 

This particular night dark wing duck was the best wingman anyone could ask for. If you've read my previous stories you'll understand why I say: Finally! We meet 2 girls from God knows where and dance with them. I show them the fancy footwork and it gets hot, really hot! 

Quick pause

I'm not gonna lie but the pick line "hi I'm Dexter from NYC" is single handly the greatest pickup line in the history of pick up lines... Well In Europe anyway hahaha

Anyways, it's hot!

So I mention to DWD and our friends let's all go skinny dip in the Danube. 

Bucket list item: CHECK!

We all drop down to our birthday suits and jump in to this freezing water!  

SHRINKAGE!!! Hahaha

Haha you know how guys kinda go through that thing when they're in a cold environment? Ha well yeah. 

Anyway the cops see us and i run! Ass naked, and all I could think about was: what would mom and pops think if I end up on the news naked arrested for illegally swimming in the river? Scheiße!

I def hit 9.2 100m speed getting out of there! I was able to grab my pants, lost my undies, grabbed my beater and sprinted into the darkness. 

I guess you can say that it pays to be black sometimes when running from the cops.... AHHH! Who am I kiddin'? I'm lucky I didn't catch a Rodney King beating hahahah.... Too soon?

Either way I made it to my tent safely, completely left everyone but I didn't care, dont be the slowest buffalo they always get eaten. 

Day 2

DWD comes to my tent and says "you're fast!" I reply "all black people have a natural talent of running from the cops!" Hahaha

He proceeds to give me details after getting caught, unfortunately I will not write them but if you want to know them ask me in person for the full details about the skinny dip story.

Anyways

Today was the day that I proved my worth to the Frenchmen and met my new Dutch family :). 

Now in order to prove your worth to the frenchmen you must sacrifice your liver to the gods. It's a very big thing to turn down a drink that is given to you. Mind you we start drinking at 9am. The day was a blurr until DWD reminded me that I came to see DEADMAU5!

Gotta be a high schooler and scream really quick: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Bucket list item #2: CHECK!

So deadmau5... 

SMH

It was not his best work, but none the less I got to see him and I danced like a savage! 

After seeing Joel aka DeadMau5 we really didn't have much else planned so we go where we always go. To "the beach" lol

Enter the prettiest jellybean in the bunch, the brightest crayon in the box, the sweetest... You get the picture haha. 

Juliet 

She was awesome in every aspect. And I don't typically let someone get so close to me but we are drawn to each other like tiny magnets and we got along like we've know each other for years. Truly a great friend for years to come. 

Warning!!!

Be careful with the times you consume energy products. I didn't realize but I consumed one at 3am in the morning... Scheiße, there goes my sleep! But it lead to an interesting and hilarious end to my Day 2. 

I get back to camp to find 2 Frenchmen laying on an air mattress under an air mattress with two more Frenchmen on top haha. I figured aww what the hell so I jumped on top of them all. 

15 mins of laughter pass when all of a sudden this guy approaches us holding another guys hand and asks us to use our tent for you know what... Hahaha. The French guys look at each other and smile then point to a random and say "use that one" hahahaha. 

The guy unzips the tent and finds girls inside and they scream "what's going on" the guy jumps back and yells "wtf" 

He returns to my friends upset and ready to fight because we lead him to a tent that wasn't empty. And my guys jumped up ready to fight too because he was ready to fight. 

But let's rewind!

This dude was ready to fight us because we didn't allow him to use our tent to have sex with another guy....

Let that sink in hahahahaha!

I couldn't take it anymore so I head over to my Dutch friends tent and share the story. As if pre planned  a guy comes up to us and asks for a beer, so of course we oblige and he then proceeds to bathe in this beer. 

LITERALLY!

He rinsed, then lathered up, washed his hair with herbal essence and then rinsed. He even brushed his teeth. All with one 24oz aka 0,5 L can of beer, it was actually kinda impressive. Then he walked away like nothing happened. 

The night wasn't over yet!

Another guy joins our group on a trip, and proceeds to tell us about space and time. It was actually kinda interesting to be honest, and right after that I meet one of my best friends from Sziget, Seabass! 

Seabass is basically DeSean in a white body that can speak Dutch haha. Literally he is my little brother and we were two peas in a pod after that. 

Finally day 2 ended

Day 3

It legit rained all day so I slept all day and when the rain stopped I came out ready to party. 

It was probably like 6pm when I started partying and I head to the Palinka place that the French guys always go. Now for those of you that have no idea what Palinka is, I will just tell you when you go to Hungary be sure to have a shot of the shit. 

Anyways

I find the guys and we all head to the Coliseum to dance, and I run into Juliet once again! 

This was crazy because meeting someone twice at a festival without contacting them is weird, but hey this is Sziget!

I end up joining her and her friend to go see Macklemore and I lose them in an instant hahaha. Just my luck! Either way I figured I might as well enjoy the rest of my night and I head back to the fellas. 

When I get back I started to do my little jig and it caught the interest of a Hungarian bombshell. Gorgeous was an understatement, so I hit her with the most incredible pick up line ever!

"Hi, I'm Dexter from New York, what's your name?"

She smiled a big cheese and said "your name is Dexter? Like the killer?", I put my head down and began to walk away sarcastically and she grabbed my arm and said "wait, I love that show", I reply "everyone does, but I'm still not a killer," and we start to laugh. 

I should have suspected something the way she grabbed my arm haha. Almost a tad too forceful but I was drunk and we were dancing and the fellas were in admiration of this girl I was dancing with. 

Then the demon comes out!

She looks at me and says "I've never kissed an American boy before," I look around and say "well how can I be of service?" And she proceeds to grab me and make out like a person that was French kissing for the first time... 

Yeah ima let you visualize that...

Anyways I thought I'd just survived an attack from Lassie and that's when she does her "finish him" move and jumps onto me and begins to bite my lips, neck, and chest, right there on the dance floor.  

What the shit?

I was mad as hell but the inner man was like "well this is new." Hahaha 

I pry her vampire ass off me, and say, "I don't care that you just practically took what you want from me, but next time... just ask," I laugh and run away from the girl and walk to my camp a tad bit in disbelief of what just happened. But too drunk to care...

Time to go to "the beach!"

To my surprise it was empty because everything was wet. I figured: Oh well, so I pull up a seat, smoke a cigarette, and watch the moonlight. Another day completed. 

Day 4

This day was a bit of a bust and I didn't really do much. I was suppose to meet up with M&Ms but that fell through like coins placed on a bridge of wet cheap toilet paper. 

It gave me time to reflect and I learned something new about myself. Traveling alone will take you to places where you have no choice but to trust a random person. It's more effective to give 100% trust right off the bat and let the person hang themselves with the slack. When you say it's hard for me to trust someone or a person has to earn your trust you're doing it wrong. This pushes you into a hole where you only trust yourself and that's not good. Give trust and don't be afraid for someone to let you down, it will make you stronger in the long run. 

Life lesson done!

Day 5

At this point I could literally feel my body breaking down.... But I think to myself: I'm a warrior! I take a multi-vitamin, swallow my pride, chug a red bull and shotgun a 24!

WOOOOOO! I'm ready!

The day was spent with my new Dutch family and honestly I could not ask for better. They took care of me like I was one of their own, they spread peace, love, unity, and respect. We head to main stage and catch some awesome "sway" music and take some selfies because... WHY NOT? Haha

Then finally I meet up with M&Ms! 

Y'all M&Ms is literally like the candy, once you get a taste you can't get enough. So cool! She introduces me to her friends Mr. and Mrs. Hurricane and we go and have a blast!

If you have never heard of "crystal fighters" I recommend that you get to know them now before they blow up! Amazing band, but the venue was so packed that I couldn't dance and that irked me. Either way I thoroughly enjoyed the music. 

THEN IT GOT COLD! 

It was like 11°/40° with a ridiculous wind chill. And I needed to change up the gear. So I head to my tent to put on some clothes and I completely lose my friends in the process...

Scheiße!!!!

Lucky for me I find the Frenchmen right were I left them... The Palinka tent getting click wasted and I join them and get wasted too. I think that tent definitely made $5000 from the Frenchmen for sure haha. 

Either way

I leave after a couple drinks and head to "the beach" where I meet a Brazilian, Italian, and two Icelandic guys. Random 

Final Day... Unfortunately, If you wanna know the story you gotta ask me ;) - Some shit isn't meat to be published on the internet... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

So if you see the sun come up does that mean the party continues?

Berlin was the FUNNIEST part of my entire trip. Let me just tell you, French people are pretty friggin' awesome. Especially the ones that know their English accent is shit and is exactly like the movies and comedians depict. If you meet a French person like this, you are in for a treat. 

DISCLAIMER: Because I don't want to run into problems I will use the names Cogsworth and Lumière, for those of you who figured it out, they're the Clock and candlestick from "Beauty and the Beast."

Day 1

I wake up in my hostel hurt and sleep deprived from the night before and since it's a "dorm" style hostel, I wake up to two new dudes. They are both from France and their English was actually really good it's just their pronunciation sucked! 

Enter Cogsworth and Lumière!

Cogsworth was pretty cool, he is about 5'8" with a simple cut, simple style, and brawny scruff.. a looker for the ladies just a tad too short. And Lumière is a about the same but taller about 6'2" and the exact hair cut that Brad Pitt had in the movie fight club. 

They wake up look at me, I look at then and I say, "breakfast?" they say, "beer? And it was a match made in heaven. 

We started drinking at 9am in the mofo morning. The best was they were on the same schedule as me too, no tourism, just have fun and be a German. 

We walk for about an hour before we decide to just bar hop it and then Lumière's accent took over!

He orders a drink that's sweet and super fancy

*french accent*

"I am a man, how will I enjoy this?"

#chugsdrink

"I am a man, so I drink it!"

After that bar we hop to a beachesque type of bar and order more drinks. Lumière and Cogsworth accidentally get a 2% beer and are pissed but you know the rule "thou shalt finish ones drink before the bar hop continues," so we sit and drink. 

Out of nowhere a bee comes and wants to hang out with the crew. It hung with us for a solid 20 mins as we sat there drinking. We even filled a bottle cap with the nectar from the gods And the bee drank it!

The Bee aka Sophie must have been stressed. Working all day gathering pollen, making honey, being swatted at by everyone. #toughlife

I wasn't paying attention and slam my glass onto the table right on top of Sophie! 

NOOOOOOO! 

Lumière sees this and immediately says: 

*french accent*

"stupid American... Have no respect for nature"

And starts laughing

I felt so bad so let's have a moment of silence for the hardworking Sophie. Ima pour some liquor out for my fallen homie. 

The group had one purpose and that was to get drunk and you know what? I didn't mind it!  

After our 8th bar Allie Calhoun (she is a character from previous stories) sends me a message to meet up for drinks and food at a restaurant where I tried 1,000 year old eggs. 

We get drinks at a place called "monkey bar" which is a famous sky bar and I recommend it to all travelers. 

After 4 whiskeys my coherentness is shot and I call it a night, great first night in Berlin. 

Day 2

I wake up in pure pain!

Motor skills weak, eyes burning, little person tap dancing on my forehead, and the worst taste in my mouth...

Never mix wine, beer, and whiskey. 

I somehow get out of bed at 9am and go to the bathroom for the morning routine. 

Everyman shares the same morning routine... The three S's: Shower, shit, shave. It's a common practice by most if not all men. 

Anyways

This particular morning you can add a V to my routine. Once I'm in the shower and start the lathering I feel that the trigger has been pulled and I jump out of the tub with cat like reflexes and aim with extreme precision and proceed to projectile vomit directly into the toilet. 

Now here's the sucky part..

I was all soapy, and the floor was smooth tile... I slip and I eat it!

Like I was hungry!

I gather myself complete the morning routine bruises and all and once I get back in the room the Frenchmen say "Beer" and we begin to drink again. 

The day consisted of drinking, rain, thrifting, and recruiting for the night. 

This particular night me and Cogsworth were on the sauce and recruited a group of 6 girls to go to the club called "Weekend" another skybar/club. Now if you don't know anything about clubbing in Berlin, always have a higher ratio of girls to guys it's easier to get in. 

INSERT DEEP HOUSE!

We literally dance for 7 hours and leave the club at 7am. 

Lumière tired and wasted looks at me and says:

*french accent*

"You are the best American ever!"

I'd say Berlin was a success and an amazing city. I didn't do it like a tourist, I did it like a native with a NYC flare. Yeah I spent a bunch of time having drinks with two of the funniest Frenchmen ever. But I leave you with this quote:

"Some of the best times had are with good drinks, good people, and good conversation"

Life will always be about the story so make sure yours is the best one yet. 

Dex

PS the best photo I took of Berlin 

The show must go on!

You can thank my parental units for donating to the united DJ eurotrip fund. The journey continues! Love those guys!

DISCLAIMER: Because I don't want to run into problems I will use the name Allie Calhoun, for the person I hung out with in Mainz

Let me start with an apology for being MIA. The last couple weeks have been tapered back off of the "full steam ahead" drinking and I have been enjoying the time spent A LOT more but I'm back with renewed vigor. #MyB :/

In my "thought to be," last days in Germany

I hung out with a German frau named Allie, as well as her friends. One thing for sure is she is the definition of fantastic. We had the craziest time in Mainz . We went to cool clubs, had an amazing German dinner, danced the night away and have great stories that start with weinschorle. I honestly don't think I will meet a friend as cool as her. I wish her all the best for the future and hope we cross paths for a third time. 

Yeah I said third!

Man sieht sich zweimal im Leben, ain't got shit on ones chosen path haha. 

But Man... This trip has taught me you never know who you're going to meet, so be as open as possible!

As for the last two cities, I will write an entry called "The Lost Stories of ExpeditionDex" hmmmm...

Anyways

THE BREAK IS OVER!

Coming up next on this expedition is Sziget festival, Amsterdam, Berlin, and Brussels! (Not in that order)

Sziget Festival...

When's the last time you partied for 7 straight days for a music festival? 

EXACTLY!!!

I'm back on the sauce, this time spice it up with some Cheyenne pepper! Not to mention I finally get to see Deadmau5!

Let me pause and burst into excitement!

I friggin' get to see DEADMAU5!!!! 

Bucket list item CHECK!!!

Amsterdam will be... #interesting

And I hope to God I finally see something #Majestic in Brussels. 

I know I've always said 25 was the best year of my life, I think this year will be the craziest of my life. 

Until next entry my friends

"Life's about the story, make sure yours is the most interesting one!"

Dex